


The First Drarry Ballad of Seamus Finnigan

by timothysboxers



Series: Drarry Ballads of Seamus Finnigan [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dubious Rhyming, Irish Ballads, M/M, Stupid Singing, Tin Whistles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-07 11:50:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timothysboxers/pseuds/timothysboxers
Summary: Gather 'round me lads and lasses: sit ye for a time,And harken to me bawdy tale of two lads quite sublime.I'll tell ye of their exploits, 'round Hogwarts oh so grand,It all be true, I'm tellin' you that none of it was planned.





	The First Drarry Ballad of Seamus Finnigan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OTPshipper98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTPshipper98/gifts).



> [OTPShipper98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTPShipper98/), you are entirely to blame for this. Ever since I saw the bloody video about the [Irish pug dog that _cannot feckin' run_](https://twitter.com/devoutdaniel/status/1081232414637056005), I could not get this idea to leave me alone. It also features in my drabble challenge piece for [January 2019](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17482574?view_adult=true).
> 
> Many thanks to [MaesterChill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maesterchill/) for side-along squee throughout this process and for throwing a bit of Oirish Zest on some of the lines to make them extra zingy.
> 
> An mp3 of some accompanying audio (instrumental only) is available [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GT2YLyCLTjrC5sbup3ZtCZcT2300i8Ch/view?usp=sharing) just in case you want a tune that'll get stuck in your head. You've been warned.

Gather 'round me lads and lasses: sit ye for a time,  
And harken to me bawdy tale of two lads quite sublime.  
I'll tell ye of their exploits, 'round Hogwarts oh so grand,  
It all be true, I'm tellin' you that none of it was planned.

The first one's name is Potter: a right delightful boy,  
He's seldom off his Quidditch broom 'cause it's his favourite toy.  
Disaster of a haircut, and a scar upon his head,  
And if you point these out to him he rather goes quite red.

The second one is Malfoy: of pureblood does he be,  
He loves to eat green apples whilst he's perched up in a tree.  
Looks rather like a ferret, behaves like quite a prat,  
But if you ask our Harry, well, he's quite OK with that.

_Ah gee, Harry: how much do you fancy_  
_That boy, Malfoy: he really is quite fine._  
_Ginny Weasley: she's your girlfriend currently,_  
_But will you up and leave her only for another man?_

 

Often they'd be found a-trading insults in the hall,  
Or pining looks at lunchtime; all their friends this did appal.  
As long hot-headed rivals, despite the horrid war;  
T'was plain to all of us that that there was maybe something more.

Miss Weasley spotted our two lads out in the Castle's ground,  
And tracked them like a bloodhound though she nary made a sound.  
Spied Malfoy snoggin' Potter, pressed up against a tree;  
And shot a nasty hex at them, and from the scene did flee.

With ire on the Quidditch pitch, they play a crackin' match,  
The sexual tension in the air would give ye a wet snatch.  
Post match in Quidditch showers: front of Malfoy, Potter knelt,  
It be quite strange, how time has changed, the way that they once felt.

_Ginny Weasley: Salty she must surely be._  
_Ah gee, Harry: What 'ave ye gone an' done?_  
_Oh boy, Malfoy: Sneaky tactics you've deployed,_  
_To get your hands on Potter, and your cock inside his mouth!_

 

Now all about the Castle's halls no flat surface be safe:  
For on the classroom tables Malfoy's back does surely chafe.  
As Harry yells out 'fucking hell' and comes in Malfoy's arse,  
McGonners barged into the room to prep her Transfig Class.

'I'll hex off both yer bawbags!' McGonners screeched in pique,  
Exactly what she meant, they knew: the option rather bleak.  
They fled the room quite quickly, robes trailing off their arms,  
And drop'd, a sock, a shoe, some pants, but saved their Lucky Charms.

They now do spend a lot o' time a-shaggin' in the bed,  
The sight of which is quite enough to fill ye full o' dread.  
A thought, spare for the house elves who have the sheets to clean,  
Another for their dorm-mates when they hear ol' Malfoy scream.

_Morning glory: Potter will quite sorry be._  
_Egads, the lads: just how much did they hear?_  
_The spells—Oh hells! Silencio for Malfoy's yells,_  
_He really is quite vocal with a cock shoved up his arse!_

 

And now that they're together, but in perfect happiness,  
Pure hearts of gold and silver, you will find within their chests.  
It's not for me to question how fate doth spread her charms,  
But only to be happy that they're in each other's arms.

_Ah gee, Harry: we all knew you fancied_  
_That boy, Malfoy: though he's still a prat._  
_Ginny Weasley: was your girlfriend previously,_  
_And now she's dating Lovegood, and we're all OK with that!_


End file.
